
[salta.studio] shun your artistic self
by ⴽⴻⵍ ⴻⵙⵓⴼ

I was a sensible kid. Very sensible kid. There were times were I cried and crouched like a baby because of the pain. I don't think it was a physical pain but for some reason that's how my body reacted. I was not an effeminate kid but I was quite sensible. My dad noticed that. In his defense, he saw a kid who clearly would be eaten by the world. So he did he thought best. He tried to make me a man in ways that clearly didn't work. It only made me feel a shame of myself. I wanted to learn to dance like a ballerina. My great grand mother was a famous ballerina in the early 1900s. She travelled the world and such and such. But for a kid to do that and knowing what I was, he, well, didn't allowed that.

I tried to draw and that was alright. I did for years. But something inside me was dying. It's been hmm more than a decade since I haven't drawn anything. During college I made music. Not fancy music but good enough for me.
I remember that at some point I gave a friend a gift. I wrapped it up with my last drawings. To me they were normal. But for him, he found them fascinating. He framed one of the drawings. It is as we speak hanging in his apartment. I never thought my art would be part of personal art gallery of anybody 🥺🥺🥺

I honestly don't know what happened inside me. I tried for a second time to create a sort of a studio but more flexible and such. But the issues the economy (and someone else), I run out of money.
Recently, I have a video call with a friend who happens to also be writing children books. After that talk I felt I needed to go back to my roots. There are other major reasons but, for respect to the person involved, I can't say more.
I'm not saying I was good at anything. I'm merely saying that I had something in me that allow to draw, dance and make music and it got lost. I lost it. I blame no one.

I have no idea how what I will accomplish. I'm certainly crazy in wanting my projects to succeed when I'm mostly alone and rusty skills but hey the impossibility of things has never been an impediment for moi.